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*paininja

Wants her Life Back ♥
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My Turn!

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 7, 2009, 5:45 PM
  • Mood: Christmas Spirited
  • Listening to: 2PM - Again and Again
Well, =Hamstertastic started it, and then ~SyrianKanachi went along with it. I think I might try a free write for myself. Just to see what's really coursing along in my brain since I've lost all track of it this past week. I'm hoping to start of positive though, because there is in fact so much I have to be grateful for.

It's been an interesting time, I must admit.
I'm sitting here thinking about all the homework I have to get done.
But like usual, I'm just being really laid back about it.
I figure, one missed assignment won't destroy my future.
And it's not like I'm not gonna get it done anyways.
But there is so much more to live for than an education and a career.
I want to travel the world, become culturally aware.
The languages of the world are beautiful, I wanna learn those too.
I can do that with a decent wage, I don't have to be rich.
Being a teacher would be so fantastic because I'd get all summer off.
But I worry about not being capable of helping kids.
Of failing them more than them failing me. Nothing would be the same though, everyday; oh things vary so drastically it's weird. Truly grateful for my teachers though, speaking of which. I mean, there are times when I don't like them, no lie. I absolutely detest every little thing they do or say, but they're not bad people. They care in some form at least. I think right now though, I'm most grateful for my history teacher. He's the one that's pushed me to a limit none of the others really have. He tells us we're kids who can get things done and although he's a total douchebag along the way, I come to realize that's kind of our fault. It pisses me off; our class is the whiniest junior class I have ever heard. Whiniest. Granted, I whine myself, but I get the work done and try to avoid whining in front of the teachers. Because they assign all our work and then take time out of their lives to grade it. And I don't think the students understand they put in as much effort in as we do. My history teacher this year has received so much crap from students and parents alike, and it's driving me up a wall. A friend of ours who was in his class last year so said he was never this aggravated, never this tired looking. It's upsetting to know that there's a happier side to him that no one really gets to see because we're all too busy bitching about the workload. I mean, really? You joined IB knowing that, and then you're going to moan until you don't have to anymore. Life isn't like that, and unfortunately, you'll have to work to get what you want there, hmm? I just. I hold feelings for him in a sense no one really understands. It's no lie that I'm teased for having perhaps, a crush on the guy, but he's a young teacher and it's not even that. Yeah he's handsome, but there's this connection that I wish I could explain. There's something more and it's like an invisible friendship almost. I feel quite proud of myself when he congratulates me for an accomplishment or when he just thanks me. I make an effort to make myself into the kind of student he wants us all to be; determined and more than mediocre. It's hard, admittedly, because I'm so laid back. Yet, I'm trying. And in relation to having crushes on someone slightly, or much older than you. I'm so tired of hearing the shit that it's creepy or that your boyfriend is a pedophile or any shit like that. No one is entitled to say any of that stuff because there has been some family member of yours which has done that before and it's just overall rude. I hear people receive crap like that all the time, and sometimes love is just love and you cant' control it. There will be instances when the younger one could be in a bad situation, but you can't base all situations off of those ones. I'm just, I feel so terrible because I have friends who are about my age and date men who are much older than themselves, but there's this thing where they actually feel a connection. These men are more mature and all that nonsense which in reality only they could explain because I'm kind of inexperienced with dating. But really, just let them be, and if someone is uncomfortable with it, tell them why without being rude. Maybe there's a worry for this person or something, but really. There is no need to just straight up go, "thats creepy." and I'm sorry if that makes some of the people I know upset, but it's just the way I view things. I'm being honest with myself here. And totally not related this topic at all. I'm a little stressed about Christmas. I have two-three people to buy gifts for, and I have no idea how I'm going to get the money. I'm actually pretty poor financially in the sense that we have no extra money but for the necessities. For that, I'm not gonna lie, I'm really grateful for, to have all these resources. But it would be nice to get everyone gifts for once. And it's not nice to get everyone but these few people gifts so... Haha. Kinda irks me ALOT how people say they have no money and yet they get everything they ask for. It's just because people really don't know what it's like to not have money and to be on a constant string to just be able to get necessities. And I understand that naive part of them, but it's still irritating. Sometimes I just wish people understood. But whatever. Otherwise, I'm so stoked for Christmas and feeling pretty good. I mean, got some stuff off my chest, and although not all, it's something. If I were to dump it all, everyone would be here for like five hours, ey? Who even knows if someone read it all, lol ~ Stoked for FIFA cup as well and now I'm off to homework. Delish.

To Do List:
- Collaboration with ~BlueBirdWings & ~Hatchii
- Challenge Meme from ~Tesuway-chan
- Kiriban of Nadia and Kain for ~SyrianKanachi
- Consolation for =Hamstertastic
- Fan-Art of Koyomi
- Fan-Art of Bakemonogatari Characters

DeDraMo:

December 01
December 02
December 03
December 04
December 05
December 06
December 07

4 Comments

December Drawing Month

Journal Entry: Tue Dec 1, 2009, 7:16 AM
  • Mood: Hopeless
  • Listening to: Hamburger Street - America CD
~Christmas Wishlist~

Totally reminded by =Hamstertastic ~

I'm going to draw something everyday of the month and submit it ~
Starting today of course! I kind of forgot what the official name is...
But it's okay. Y'all get my point <3
Uhm, living life and tired 8D
How are you all?

To Do List:
- Collaboration with ~BlueBirdWings & ~Hatchii
- Challenge Meme from ~Tesuway-chan
- Kiriban of Nadia and Kain for ~SyrianKanachi
- Consolation for =Hamstertastic
- Fan-Art of Koyomi
- Fan-Art of Bakemonogatari Characters

DeDraMo:

December 01
December 02
December 03
December 04
December 05
December 06

3 Comments

To-Do's

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 23, 2009, 6:42 PM
  • Mood: Relief
  • Listening to: Kaito - Jewel

~Christmas Wishlist~

Just chillaxin'
A night without overbearing amount of homework.
Slowly catching up on comments and stuff.
Putting some art up. My ditch is kind of smaller now :3
It's about time. I'm pulling myself out thank god.
Mmm, I really want a Kuroshitsuji CSS.
I have no idea how to get one 8D Woo ~//cries
Anyways, as I was going to do from the start.
Just makin' a small list for myself.
To remember cause there's only so much my brain can do <3
Yes, they are in priority order.
It's due to different factors.

To Do List:

- Collaboration with ~BlueBirdWings & ~Hatchii
- Challenge Meme from ~Tesuway-chan
- Kiriban of Nadia and Kain for ~SyrianKanachi
- Consolation for =Hamstertastic

Anything else I'm missing?

14 Comments

Holiday Wishlist <3 17k

Journal Entry: Fri Nov 20, 2009, 5:26 AM
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Italian Jazz Music - Sandro Ferrero
Thank you ~Haleo08 for the subby! ;w;

Caught by ~SyrianKanachi ~! [link]

Who was watching Higurashi apparently xD ~ well done!
One to two characters may be requested. That or a fan-art.
Your decision C:

Stolen fron =Hamstertastic
And sponsored by =nayruasukei <3

THE BASICS: Write a Christmas/Holiday wish list. It can be any 10 wishes you'd like to have granted, no matter what they are. Possible or seemingly impossible. People look and grant the wishes if they can. It's not about "OMFG PRESENTS", it's about making someone else's holiday a little brighter by giving. Personally, I get more out of giving than receiving sometimes. It's just a good feeling to give.

STEP ONE

** Make a post in your journal. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fun ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

** If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you. In this case, you can always just note someone on dA for the sake of privacy.

** Make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your journal, so that others can join in and participate to spread the holiday joy!


STEP TWO

** Surf this forum ( [link] ) and browse the lists. Here's the important part:

** If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

** You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

So here goes mine, guys <333

1. I want a subby the most this year ;w; That's honestly what I've been wanting for the longest time. I would get myself one if I weren't poor and had no kinds of cards to use anyways.

~Haleo08 who is also *Kaliona First she gets me an adorable icon of Finland, and now this ;AAAA; thank you so so so much. I just. I'm speechless. I love you. Thanks again ;w;

2. A set of Copic or Prisma markers. I would have always loved to own one of these. Just any size set too <3 Pleasu ~?

3. Art of my OC's. I don't usually like to ask people for this because I feel like it might be too much to ask for; people are busy and all. But for Christmas, that would make me mighty happy. Personally, art of any of them would be loved to pieces, so I'm making no preferences.

4. The box set to Baccano! I need to be able to show my friends it as well and I just love the series too much <3

5. Merchandise involving either the Korean band Big Bang or G-Dragon. ASKAJSH they're so amazing and their songs are either really catchy or really deep. Even both at times! <33

6. Character CD for America for when it comes out at the end of this month ;w; I'm so excited and hope to have all the songs on it <3 America has to be one of my favorites, even if I do love all of the Hetalia cast.... almost.

7. All the stuff I send to New York to Lauren makes it there. ;A; I wish this from the bottom of my heart, that somehow, it makes it to her and that from now on there are no problems. I'll be sending her stuff for christmas and I don't want anything to happen to it too.

She notified me it made it. All except Russia ;w; I'm so so so so so so so happy about this HSGAJSGSAGSF Yay ~

8. On a last note, wish me luck you guys ;w; I wanna survive IB and perhaps catch the interest of a guy...

Haha, screw it ~ Appreciate all the support. <3 Really!

If you need my address or anything, please note me!
it's just a way of wishin, so I'm gonna give it a try ;w;

35 Comments

I Can Breathe

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 16, 2009, 1:46 PM
  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: G-Dragon - Butterfly
  • Reading: The Great Gatsby
  • Drinking: Water
Why, hello there ~
How is everyone faring?
Had a huge breakdown yesterday.
Found out some family member has breast cancer.
Her daughter is having terrible headaches.
Andher daughter is diabetic.
So that was terrible, alongside you know, being wary.
Lots of homework tonight, but it's becoming balanced out once again.
Today's the last IA for a while.Got french, health, and math too. But whatever.
So I should be back on and answering messages and getting back into drawing.
I'm so glad my hiatus wasn't as long as I originally thought it would be.
Thank God. Sorry to those who send me notes and I don't reply for like ever
I finally got a hold of my netbook and we should be getting unlimited access to internet, so I won't fall behind as much 8D That's gonna be nice <3
I've refound my love for music too.
Found a new korean guy I love <3
And speaking of which JYP was here 8D
Auditions were held and my friend went to them 8D
I'm really excited and hope he did well <3
Uuhh... Yeah, I think that's all for now c: ♪

5 Comments
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Journal History

Would you rather... 

33%
6 deviants said take a bath in the antarctic ice.
22%
4 deviants said run through a building on fire.
17%
3 deviants said swim across an ocean.
11%
2 deviants said fight off a lion with only a chair.
11%
2 deviants said lose all artistic abilities and become unable to produce art.
6%
1 deviant said jump off a cliff with a parachute that may not open.
1 comment, Previous Polls

Shoutbox

~xXxExsanguinatioNxXx:iconxXxExsanguinatioNxXx:
LMFAOOO LAZER COLLECTION.
Tue Dec 1, 2009, 2:59 PM
*paininja:iconpaininja:
FIRIN LAZARS!?
Wed Nov 25, 2009, 9:39 AM
*Kaliona:iconKaliona:
:U
Mon Nov 23, 2009, 6:55 PM
~Tesuway-chan:iconTesuway-chan:
IM IN UR SHOUTBOX, FIRIN' UP MAH LAZARS!
Mon Nov 23, 2009, 6:53 PM
*paininja:iconpaininja:
LOL EMILY YOURE FUNNY
Mon Nov 23, 2009, 6:14 PM
~torterrafreak:icontorterrafreak:
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee X3; Should be doing homework hurr
Sat Nov 21, 2009, 10:57 PM
*paininja:iconpaininja:
YOU CAN YOU CAAAN 8D
Thu Nov 19, 2009, 9:15 PM
~shannaroooooo:iconshannaroooooo:
UWAAAAH~ I can now shout on yer Shoutbox. Cx
Thu Nov 19, 2009, 1:56 AM
*paininja:iconpaininja:
SUBBY~
Wed Nov 18, 2009, 6:47 PM

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